Tradition; Good or Bad??

Yesterday was granny’s bday!! Happy Birthday Granny! =)
Everyone came over to celebrate the nation’s birthday and granny’s bday!

There was a programme on TV tat sparked off some hot topics in my home.. It was a debate on Indian traditions. These were some interesting topics that came up:

- Excluding widows from certain functions
- Arranged marriages
- Ceremonies before, during and after the wedding
- Ladies wearing the ‘thaali’ (nuptial string/mangalsutra) as a symbol of marriage
- Dowry

If one were to notice carefully, they all revolve around male domination… I feel that there are some that are close to the heart and affect us directly.. By ‘us’ I mean Indians in Singapore. I just wanna mention how I feel about these customs.

- Excluding widows from certain functions
This is a very real issue even in Singapore, where there are certain functions where widows are not allowed to attend or participate in. I think this is utter BS and that we should not even consider such a thing. For the benefit of my non-Indian frens, let me share an example with u. During a marriage, there are a few customary rituals which are carried out and widows can be present that they cannot participate. They cannot wear their ‘thaali’ or flowers in their hair or wear the ‘kumkum’. Let me post a question to all here.. What if it was your own mother? Would you exclude her from all these? The oldies always gossip and speak of how such misfortune may befall the to-be-bride.. But would not a bride want her mother’s blessings?? Hence, I think this is a ridiculous custom and I will not follow it. I’m extremely proud of my aunt who lost her husband of 22 years and refused to abide by all these ‘rules’. I want her to participate in my marriage and I will not take anything being said against her..

- Arranged marriages
Some lady for this topic mentioned that the honeymoon is the time to get to know your spouse. The unanimous reaction in my house was “WAT RUBBISH??!!” What happens if during that period, they realize that they can’t stand each other? They are already married for heaven’s sake! I’m so glad my parents agreed.. hehe.. ;)

- Ceremonies before, during and after the wedding
Some of these are pretty funny.. and have absolutely no logic, at least none that I or my mum or her mum know of.. Who breaks papaddums on each other’s heads? What a waste of food?! Think of all the poor people going hungry in Somalia! But there are some that I like too.. like playing with my spouse during the wedding, where we have to pick 2 objects from a pot of water.. so we have to dive our hands into it to fight for the items =) I’m fine with falling at my parents feet for blessings..

- Ladies wearing the ‘thaali’ (chain/malgalsutra) as a symbol of marriage
I’m not sure my parents agree with my viewpoint on this particular subject.. it’s quite sticky at home I have to say.. I dun think I wanna wear it.. I mean I’ll agree to wear it during the wedding.. but after tat I’ll probably not wear it.. Suresh, I know u have lotsa comments and I’m willing to compromise.. Some say it means subjugating women as they bow their heads down to let the guys tie the ‘thaali’. But to me, its not that cos the guys also fall at the ladies feet to wear the toe-rings for them wat.. For me, its more like an accessory. If our hearts are in unison, then why must we wear a symbol to identify that we are married? If they are worried that other men will propose to their wives; how abt vice-versa? Why not just be done with a wedding ring? How do u think the Chinese n Malay ladies survive? [Believe I may have spoken to some of my galfrens abt this b4..]

- Ceremonies before, during and after the wedding
This isn’t really practiced in Singapore; Hence I’m not gonna talk about it.. Can’t help but add that it is a ridiculous custom though!

Well, to sum it all up, there are some traditions that I love being an Indian.. but we should realize which are being carried out cos there is a reason behind it and which are being blindly followed.. N forget all that have no logic to it..