Tradition; Good or Bad??

Yesterday was granny’s bday!! Happy Birthday Granny! =)
Everyone came over to celebrate the nation’s birthday and granny’s bday!

There was a programme on TV tat sparked off some hot topics in my home.. It was a debate on Indian traditions. These were some interesting topics that came up:

- Excluding widows from certain functions
- Arranged marriages
- Ceremonies before, during and after the wedding
- Ladies wearing the ‘thaali’ (nuptial string/mangalsutra) as a symbol of marriage
- Dowry

If one were to notice carefully, they all revolve around male domination… I feel that there are some that are close to the heart and affect us directly.. By ‘us’ I mean Indians in Singapore. I just wanna mention how I feel about these customs.

- Excluding widows from certain functions
This is a very real issue even in Singapore, where there are certain functions where widows are not allowed to attend or participate in. I think this is utter BS and that we should not even consider such a thing. For the benefit of my non-Indian frens, let me share an example with u. During a marriage, there are a few customary rituals which are carried out and widows can be present that they cannot participate. They cannot wear their ‘thaali’ or flowers in their hair or wear the ‘kumkum’. Let me post a question to all here.. What if it was your own mother? Would you exclude her from all these? The oldies always gossip and speak of how such misfortune may befall the to-be-bride.. But would not a bride want her mother’s blessings?? Hence, I think this is a ridiculous custom and I will not follow it. I’m extremely proud of my aunt who lost her husband of 22 years and refused to abide by all these ‘rules’. I want her to participate in my marriage and I will not take anything being said against her..

- Arranged marriages
Some lady for this topic mentioned that the honeymoon is the time to get to know your spouse. The unanimous reaction in my house was “WAT RUBBISH??!!” What happens if during that period, they realize that they can’t stand each other? They are already married for heaven’s sake! I’m so glad my parents agreed.. hehe.. ;)

- Ceremonies before, during and after the wedding
Some of these are pretty funny.. and have absolutely no logic, at least none that I or my mum or her mum know of.. Who breaks papaddums on each other’s heads? What a waste of food?! Think of all the poor people going hungry in Somalia! But there are some that I like too.. like playing with my spouse during the wedding, where we have to pick 2 objects from a pot of water.. so we have to dive our hands into it to fight for the items =) I’m fine with falling at my parents feet for blessings..

- Ladies wearing the ‘thaali’ (chain/malgalsutra) as a symbol of marriage
I’m not sure my parents agree with my viewpoint on this particular subject.. it’s quite sticky at home I have to say.. I dun think I wanna wear it.. I mean I’ll agree to wear it during the wedding.. but after tat I’ll probably not wear it.. Suresh, I know u have lotsa comments and I’m willing to compromise.. Some say it means subjugating women as they bow their heads down to let the guys tie the ‘thaali’. But to me, its not that cos the guys also fall at the ladies feet to wear the toe-rings for them wat.. For me, its more like an accessory. If our hearts are in unison, then why must we wear a symbol to identify that we are married? If they are worried that other men will propose to their wives; how abt vice-versa? Why not just be done with a wedding ring? How do u think the Chinese n Malay ladies survive? [Believe I may have spoken to some of my galfrens abt this b4..]

- Ceremonies before, during and after the wedding
This isn’t really practiced in Singapore; Hence I’m not gonna talk about it.. Can’t help but add that it is a ridiculous custom though!

Well, to sum it all up, there are some traditions that I love being an Indian.. but we should realize which are being carried out cos there is a reason behind it and which are being blindly followed.. N forget all that have no logic to it..

National Day!!

I just celebrated National Day at the Treasury (my office)..

We sang the national anthem, took our pledge.. and of cos sang a couple of classics ("There was a time...", "Stand up for Singapore") I felt like crying!! I miss celebrating national day.. I miss waving the flag.. I miss swaying to the songs! be it tat it's just one day of the year, its a time when I truly feel united with the rest of the Singaporeans.. I feel sooooo SINGAPOREAN!!

But now that I'm in the Civil Service, I won't miss it anymore!! =)
too bad it's not half day though.. haha..

To all my Singaporean friends, Happy National Day!

Exciting details..

Hey all, you should check out this website http://www.successwallpapers.com/ for free wallpapers with inspirational quotes.. Thanks Suresh for pointing it out to me..



A couple of days ago, after lunch with my colleagues.. we went shopping... I bought a earrings holder!! it's simply the best! sooo pretty and girlie... I immediately came home to hang all my earrings on it.. they were all previously stuffed in a box.. Here's a pic..




Only after hanging all my earrings do I realise that I've got sooo little.. ahha.. time to buy more! =) the kinda things that make me happy..

How abt a Book Club?

Oh gosh!! Everyone should read “The Pillars of the Earth” by Ken Follett.. It’s amazing.. I couldn’t put it down at all..

Background about how I got to know about the book first.. I’d first heard about it on Oprah’s Book Club (Yes! I’m a member! :P ) So when I saw the book at the bookstore in the Airport on my way to NZ.. (N yes, incidentally, that is always my 1st stop at the airport) I immediately bought it.. But I did not read it till I was on my way back home 10 days later.. In Auckland, I decided to check in both my luggage and simply carry the book in hand. How silly of me rite! I went to the ladies and misplaced the book!!! So upsetting!! I returned to the ladies after I realized that I no longer held the book.. just 5 mins later! But the book was gone! I asked airport helpdesk and she helped me enquire with the lost n found section.. but there was no such book reported.. they said it’s as good as gone forever! I was so upset.. :( So what did I do?? I was at the airport! What else do u think I would have done?! I went to the bookstore there and bought the same book! I bought another book as well.. but I’ll talk about that ltr..

This book is set in the 12th century.. It centers on building the biggest cathedral in the world. Initially, I thought it might be boring... how can any story that centers around architecture be interesting rite?? Boy was I wrong! The story is woven spectacularly about a prior trying to build a cathedral amidst war, feuding kingdoms, selfish earls and lords and countesses, abandoned children, monks, heaven and hell… To me, it was an excellent read as it provided enough flavour to spice up the novel. There was some crying, some laughing.. I even got angry at some of the characters.. stupid Waleran Bigod for being so evil even though he is a bishop!, Hamleigh for taking over Shiring by deception and causing an innocent man to die and leave 2 children all alone in the world, even Prior Philip for being silly enough to fall for Waleran’s trick! But one thing I have to say is that I’ve learnt soooo very much. I really admire Aliena and Ellen.. Women who managed to overcome all odds to build a life for themselves.. Not to forget Jack, an odd boy who I can empathise with, who managed to overcome all obstacles to be the master builder (mason) he had always wanted to be after learning the trade from his stepfather Tom. It was absolutely astounding that even after he knew who his father’s murderers were, he did not even once consider revenge.. Just saw a quote that I thot I could mention here.. "You cannot get ahead while you are getting even." - Dick Armey

There is a lot more than what I’ve just mentioned here.. You really have to read the book to find out.

The sequel to this is “World Without End”. However, I haven’t read that yet.. I wanna savour “The Pillars of The Earth” first.. Perhaps even read it another time.. =)

Other recent books I’ve read (twice) are “Anna Karenina” by Leo Tolstoy and “A Suitable Boy” by Vikram Seth. It wouldn’t do them justice to casually mention them like this.. I have to dedicate entire entries for those! When am I ever going to have the time??!!

Another book I have on hand but yet to read is “Shantaram” by Gregory David Roberts, a convicted Australian bank robber and heroin addict who escaped from prison and fled to India where he lived for 10 years.. This was also bought at Auckland airport.. I just happened to read somewhere that this is now being directed as a movie by Mira Nair starring Johnny Depp and Amitabh Bachchan. However, I feel that watching a movie is never equivalent to reading the book.. Movies restrict your visualization of how the novel/story goes.. When reading, you form your own image of characters, the surroundings.. It's just not the same watching a movie..

Oh.. by the way, I’m also interested in Anita Shreve’s “A Pilot’s Wife”. Maybe I shall buy that.. Times bookstore is just next door to my office.. Temptation at my doorstep!!

I just love reading thick thick books.. It’s sth I love to cuddle with in bed everynite b4 falling asleep. It gives me a deep sense of satisfaction when I finish a book that thick.. But almost immediately, I wanna read it all over again! :)

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"The beginning and end of all literary activity is the reproduction of the world that surrounds me by means of the world that is in me, all things being grasped, related, moulded and constructed in a personal form and an original manner." - Goerte

Commencement

Graduation or commencement or convocation... Whatever u call it, its a time of joy and happiness.. Definitely moments to be proud of.. It is a moment from which they start a new journey.. some are VIPs and some aren't.. ;P

N i'm glad to say that 2 pple close to my heart have just undertaken tat journey..

My dearest Bhaiya, Kiran Na.

A total of 21 family members attended his graduation ceremony.. =)
And if I count his frens who turned up, there were 16 in the photo..

Jayaraj's grad too... How exciting..

And my closest buddy, Dr Naga.
She attended everyone of our closest frens' graduation.. mine too..
We wanted to surprise her.. N we got her a pretty pretty bouquet..!

(Thx Vanz for that bouquet.. all the way from the Airport somemore.. haha)

Here are some of the pics I've taken with them..

These are with Naga n me.. and the other is the Crescentian bunch.. its been quite some time since I called us that.. :) Anyway, babes.. we have to meet up again soon ok!

Next few pics are of Kiran's graduation.. and Jayaraj's too.. I miss this bunch! You wont believe the no. of pple who attended Na's graduation ceremony.. and that was just family.. Frens were another whole ging-gang!

Na, when are u gonna chop off ur ponytail?? Are we having a 'hair cutting' ceremony as Gay3 suggested??

NEW JOB!

hey everyone.. i'm happy at my new job.. new frens.. though i'm still getting to know them..

i went for bellydancing lessons today.. haha.. During lunch, some gals here attend this 6 wk course that they invited me for.. initially i was just gonna sit in and observe but pretty much got dragged into it... n i must say.. i enjoyed it tremendously.. not just the dancing but getting along with the gals.. tht was fun.. lunchin with them, i learnt alot abt them..

here are a few pics of my nameplate and desk.. initial stages..

i'll update more pics with a more organised desk ltr..

Remorseful.. and repentant...

Wow.. i know that this blog is long outdated.. haha
It has been slightly more than a week since i returned n there haf been no updates yet..
Sorry abt that folks.. but i haf been super busy!

I keep tellin myself that i have to update all of u abt my NZ trip and my new job.. but i just havent had the time.

I landed in Singapore at 12 midnite Mon mornin and had to wake up at 6.30 to go to office on Tues mornin.. Thurs my MBA course started.. so there went my weekend.. literally down the drain.. Haiz.. i really havent had a break..
Anyway, i'll stop complainin here.. n start updating the blog..
(Oh! y in heavens did i start this nonsense... )